Miscarriage is very common, occurring in as many as 10-25% of women of childbearing age. Miscarriage can be very difficult, emotional, and at times devastating for couples. During this time, there is a tendency to focus on the woman, partially because she was the one carrying the baby, and thus the assumption is that the pain and heartbreak must be more substantial for her.
However, it is important when a couple experiences this unfortunate event to understand the hurt that both partners may feel. Often men hide their emotions, but miscarriage can be just as painful for them.
Miscarriage takes a toll on both partners, their families, friends, etc. and whether we are the medical team providing care, the friend providing a shoulder to cry on, or even a casual acquaintance who learns of a couple’s loss, we should always be mindful of considering everyone’s emotions, feelings, and the grieving process.
Cosmopolitan reached out to three different men across the country that experienced miscarriage and asked them to share their stories. Here’s what they said:
“I tried to hide my hurt to let my spouse know everything would be okay.”
“Losing the second baby hurt me as much as her; it was both of our loss.”
“The only way to describe how I felt was that it is was soul-crushing.”
“I was so focused on being there for my wife that I never really dealt with it myself.”
“Men don’t allow themselves to feel things, but I can tell you dealing with a miscarriage can be as rough on a man as it is on a woman.”
Read more about this study.
At the Michigan Center for Fertility & Women’s Health, we offer grief counseling for couples experiencing miscarriage. Please let us know if we can help you along your journey. Learn more here.